Polski Bus

So here’s something practical – the way I get from Berlin to Vilnius and back for no, not 60 Euros, but for 13. Since Ryanair stopped all of the connection between the cities, I’ve started taking the operator Polski Bus that drives you for about 10 Euros or sometimes less to Warsaw, where you will end up at some really disgusting Bomzh bus station called Metro Wilanowska. Well, not exactly.The Metro Station is a stone's throw away, but since you in most cases arrive around 4 in the morning that doesn’t help you at all. So what you’re gonna do is…you get into that weird kiosk house out of which for some strange reason a tree is growing, there you get some beer and walk over to the small 2 m² slot casino to socialize with the local alcoholics.



Or of course…you don’t. Next to the metro station itself there’s indeed a small bus stop that provides a night connection to the Central Station Centralna. So let’s say you arrive at 4, then 23 minutes later the night bus will stop right next to the small kiosk at the metro station – the one without a tree. Just don’t do the mistake to wait at the bus station. You need to walk over to the main road going to the center and this means…getting out of the station to the direction where the tree kiosk is and then swing a right. 23 minutes time also means: check out the nice pastry they sell at the Metro in the morning. Ppl are just setting up their stalls with fresh bakery products. The perfect breakfast to survive the next hours.


Centralna
So for those of us who want to continue towards Vilnius, you will have to get to Centralna anyways, because the extremely cheap Simple Express goes from there directly to Vilnius – for 3 or 10 Euros. Alas, unlike Polski Bus it has no internet aboard;( For the night bus ride I highly recommend to not pay. It seems extremely unlikely to get a control at this early morning hours. When you see Stalins dick, what is this massive communist, seven sisters resembling Palace of Culture and Science, prepare to get off. You’re at the wonderful central station of Warsaw and it really is a nice place to hang out. So even if you have to get the next bus from Wilanowska in a couple of hours – wasting time is much nicer here than in this ugly suburbia of the Polish capital.


Since Poland is hosting the European football championship next year, all the infrastructure is massively being rebuild and train stations are a major focus of the architects. Yeah right, the main hall of Centralna isn’t that beautiful yet, but at least there are some security guards that provide some save environment and will kick kurwa screaming drunkards out of the station.That also means that you can fearlessly pull out your laptop computer and use the free wi fi to surf the world wide web and find out about the exact position of the Simple Express stop. It’s just a few meters away from the station on Aleja Jana Pawla II – the boulevard dedicated to John Paul II btw. So walk thru the stops with the local busses down the yard, passing some police cars, turn a bit to the right, lean on the wall and look for the bus stop sign CENTRALNA 04. Wait. Bus comes. The photo has been taken exactly from there.


In the meantime of course, you could also have a look at the Shopping Mall that is connected to the station underground – in case the underground pathways aren’t under construction, what they will be until the European Championship begins. Going over ground has at least the advantage to see the extremely modernly swung and twisted glass construction above the entrance. The whole mall is called Zlote Tarasy as far as I remember – something with gold and I suppose the rest means terrace what’s probably wrong. Inside you can find plenty of shops, McDonalds – what’s good if you need free internet – and lots of coffee places – what’s good if you’re tired. Furthermore a large supermarket with many many cheap products - what’s good if you’re poor. If you’re not poor, buy some beer – cause then you’re probably an alcoholic. I consider myself to be in between, so I buy both. If you have way too much time, there’s a Tourist Information with free maps right inside Stalin’s dick. It will show you that the old town is about 500 meters north by northeast to the station. Anyways, you won’t have too much time.

Metro Centrum
To commute between Centralna and Wilanowska at daytime, you need to get to Metro Centrum. It’s a bit of a walk from Centralna, but actually just around the Stalinist Palace of Culture. Not to mix up certainly with another metro stop with the unpronounceable name Srzcosrdsoes…something like that. No, don’t take that one right in front of Stalins dick, but go around it, swing a left and there you go. About five stops to the south towards Kabaty and you will be at Wilanowska. If it’s possible to go without ticket you ask? Probably, just last time I didn’t try. At the exit you don't have to show a ticket and the entrance gates are sometimes open as I've noticed.